we have moved

okay...I have moved.

putting the past behind me (as much as i can).
starting new blog...same me though.

find me here:
thenextchapterk.blogspot.com

thanks for reading. :)
with gratitude and blessings~
k

2011 in books--part two

to see more clearly: new vision for women suffering with depression
(draft of my friend's book!)
jamie meyer

walking on eggshells
jane isay

waiting for superman
(book that accompanies the documentary film)

craft hope: handmade crafts for a cause
jade sims

the new family home
jim tolpin

georgiana: duchess of devonshire
amanda foreman

where i am (right now)

if you have read this blog (when i have posted) in the last year or so, you have read of my journey of finding and beginning a new job/occupation/career. i have been discouraged, encouraged, open and searching, tired and weary, and trusting God each step of the way.

back in december, i began a new journey into the world of the paraeducator. i was a little leary and really questioning myself and what i was hoping to 'do' in this world. since then, God has really confirmed that i am right where i am supposed to be, doing what i am supposed to do.

going back years, one of my original desires was to look into the world of music therapy. at the time, there really weren't many opportunities for education where i live, but the subject matter fascinated me. i loved the idea of taking something that i love so deeply, music, and use it to help encourage and unlock someone from a place in their life.

enter the present.

i began as a substitute paraeducator with our local school system. i would find out in the morning if my services would be needed at a school...every day was a different school, focusing on different children. honestly, it was daunting. it could be intimidating. i was working with children that really struggle with change. as a substitute, i knew that it would be a struggle for them to trust and work with me. i felt like i was trying to help maintain where these kids are at versus helping them to grow. i was discouraged.

i then was asked to help as a long-term substitute at my son's school. for the past few weeks, i have been in a routine...working with the same children each day. i have absolutely LOVED it. i have gotten to see progress first hand. with these children, each small step is celebrated. an increase in verbal expression, physical control, glimmers of recognition as new things are learned...they are all worth singing and dancing over! as i have been digesting all that has taken place the past several weeks, i am seeing God teach some pretty big lessons.

compassion and love. patience and second (and third and fourth...) chances. trusting Him in uncertain times and situations. dependence on Him for strength and energy and insight into how to work with His very special children. God is using this time to teach me much about unconditional love and serving others sacrifically through a group of children and wonderful co-workers/servants. i am humbled and grateful.

i am trusting God each step of this journey. He has been faithful and loving, patient and kind. i know that He is at work in my every day life. i am grateful to be where i am right now.

2011 in books--part one

i love the winter months as they provide some warm, cozy moments to curl up with coffee in my favorite mug and a book. here is what has been read this first part of the year...

decision points
by g.w. bush

naked heat
by richard castle

the postcard killers
by james patterson and liza marklund

late, late at night
by rick springfield

2011 walt disney world
birnbaum guide

mom still likes you best
by jane isay

urban pantry
by amy pennington

learning disabilities: a to z
by corinne smith and lisa strick

a fistful of rice
by vikram akula

remarkable trees of the world
by thomas pakenham

solar
by ian mcewan

mr. knightley's diary
by amanda grange

a paradox being soothed

in the bible study that we are journeying through with our moms group at church, we are looking at the life of jonah. we are looking at how to respond to what we consider life's 'interruptions' and are choosing to see them as God's interventions in our lives. i am thoroughly appreciating what we are learning and am praying that God is doing a mighty work in my fragile heart.

this week's homework was looking at God's presence...at how it can be a soothing balm to those who are hurting, to those who seek Him, and how it can be a scorching fire to those who are running from Him. my mind is trying to wrap itself around this paradox...

oh, how we long for God in our lives. (though we do not always say it as such.) we want His peace and His love. we long to know Him and to know how He knows and loves us. God created us with this desire deep in our hearts and minds to long for Him and to know Him intimately.

on the flip side, when we know that we have sinned...made poor choices...want to do things our way...we run from Him. we run from any reminder of Him. His presence, His unconditional love can feel like a scorching fire because it is a reminder of our disobedience.

i think of my relationship with God and the places we have been. i have wanted to hear His voice and wanted silence because i fear of what He might ask of me. i want to trust Him and take steps in absolute faith, yet barely step my toe out because i fear where the step might lead. i trust Him and yet question some of the things that He has had me journey through.

i know that the paradox is not God. it is me. He is constant and faithful and loving and omnipresent and holy and good. i waver and fear and am affected by so many things. i am the paradox, not He...

this study is such a wonderful reminder to me of how God uses imperfect people. the bible is full of the testimonies of God using people that made poor choices, people that had terrible things happen to them, people that had a change of heart and changed how they lived and Who they lived for. oh, how i needed this reminder. God loves and uses imperfect people.

i have been anxious for the next step God is leading me towards. i do not know where it may lead. i am trusting Him and am calling on His presence to soothe me.

(oh...the study we are doing: Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted by Priscilla Shirer)

breaking the silence

from the previous post, you know that there has been heartache in my life. the heartache still continues. sadly, things are not better...but in actuality, are worse. (or so it feels at this moment.) phone calls and e-mails have taken place. words have been twisted and rearranged to the point that one has to question what reality is/was. there has been silence and a bit of space. (which i desperately needed because it helps me to pull back and gain perspective and to look at the big picture of the situation) this time has caused me to look back and consider many things about life. here is a small attempt of sharing what i am learning in this moment:

i am grateful for the home i grew up in. i never once doubted that i was loved. i had parents who showed their love in tangible ways and who supported each of their children by letting them become their own unique people. my parents invested themselves into each of our lives in many ways...ways that i did not know or even understand at the time, but i am beginning to understand now. that experience greatly shaped who i am today. i am grateful.

God overwhelms me with His love and goodness. despite my flaws and the countless mistakes i make, He loves me in the most amazing of ways. unconditionally. sacrifically. tenderly. passionately. so much that He wants to help me grow each day...which sometimes means He disciplines and allows consequences so i can learn. when i think of His love for me, i tear up because it is so overwhelming. what a beautiful thing...

i do not understand God and His ways, but that does not mean that i do not trust Him. i really hate all that is going on in my extended family right now and i wish He would just intervene and bring peace. i am trusting Him that even through the heartache, He is at work and has something beautiful planned. i trust that He is going to bring beauty from the ashes...

my family--my husband and two boys--are such blessings to me. life may not always be easy with them (especially as we are foraging new territory with a pre-teen boy who is working through so many things in his life :) ), but i would not want to journey through life without them... they bring so many smiles to my face and heart and remind me of what the most important things in life are. i love them to pieces.

dear friends are a gift from God. i am reminded each day with phone calls and notes and visits and facebook postings what a treasure friendship is. i thank God that His plan included doing life together.

and silence. i have learned much in silence lately. silence is needed. it allows one to truly hear. it helps to sort things out in the chaos. i am learning that i hear God best when i am quiet because He speaks so softly and tenderly. i could surround myself in busyness and people, but i would miss out on so much. i need some silence. (i think we all do.)

until next time...

a different beginning

2011 has begun. i always tend to approach the new year not with resolutions, but with remembering how blessed i have been and how blessed i truly am in all ways--spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. i do my best to look to the new year with an optimistic hope and a curiosity of how God is going to move and work in my and my family's life in the upcoming year.

this year is feeling so different because it is beginning with heartache.

we all have heartache and difficult times. i know that God uses those experiences in our lives to teach some of the most valuable lessons. i know that i have experienced deep hurts in the past and have survived...solely because of who God is and the strength He provides.

the heartache is deep because the hurt is coming from family. two people whom i do care about deeply have leveled some of the most cutting, hurting words and sentiments to me and about me and about my family.

what does one do when you try to reach out, compromise, be considerate, be thoughtful, be supportive, be encouraging, be generous when it is not reciprocated in return? does one keep trying despite the hurt that it causes oneself over and over? i understand sacrifice and would sacrifice anything for my family (close and extended) in a heartbeat, but i feel that i am at the point that i can give no more.

my heart breaks because i have been wounded to the core and feel that there is so little left to give. the offending party has winded me. my chest aches not because the things that they said are true, but because everything i have ever done or said has been twisted to be seen as intentionally hurting them. (trying to communicate or be involved is seen as intruding into their life, giving distance and space is ignoring and not caring. trying to help is seen as ordering and bossing around, doing nothing is seen as being insensitive and uncaring. asking questions to which they would not answer and then making a decision without their input because a decision needed to be made is seen as me disrespecting their views and thoughts.) it is not about 'winning', but i feel as though there is no way that i can be successful in existing in their life, let alone having a meaningful relationship.

the only thing that is helping me process this is to look at things from the perspective that their self-focused viewpoint is clouding their eyes from seeing seven plus years of attempted relationship. i know what it is like to live life for myself and i know what is like to live life the way Jesus asks us to (i do not do it perfectly, but i do know that He has been helping me more day by day). i cannot erase who i was before Jesus changed me, but i would have hoped that these two individuals would have seen the dramatic change that everyone else has for the past eighteen years.

i pray that God does mighty miracles in this upcoming year. i pray that He mends and heals and transforms. i pray that He brings resolution. i pray that He takes this most ugly moment and turns it into something beautiful. He is able. and i will trust Him.

2010 in books--part four, the final installment

i enjoyed looking back at the books i have read over the past year. sometimes, they reflected my mood. at others, what i was desiring to learn to satiate some curiosity. i hope that 2011 is as productive and invigorating read...

enduring love
by ian mcewan

lost on earth: nomads of the new world
by mark fritz

letters to a young therapist
by mary pipher

heroes for my son
by brad meltzer

clean food
by terry walters

the giver
by lois lowry

heat wave
by richard castle
(yes, i know this is a fictitious author. total guilty read.)

private
by james patterson

twilight
by stephanie meyer

how to talk so kids can learn at home and in school
by adele faber and elaine mazlish

a december rambling

one--i know i have been a bad blogger. i am sorry. really.

two--it is the Christmas season and for the first time in years, my shopping is not completed before Thanksgiving. i do not enjoy shopping in the craziness. i LOVE finding thoughtful gifts for others. i do not enjoy desperation present-hunting. good news is that i only have a few gifts left to purchase and i know what i need to buy, so i am not too worried about it all.

three--after much waiting and praying (and honestly, worrying), i had a first day at my new job yesterday! it was good, overwhelming, confusing, tiring yet energizing, and an adventure. i appreciated the opportunity to serve in this role and am hoping that the substitute status changes to a regular status soon. i have much to learn, but feel that this just might be where i am supposed to be right now...

four--i love my kids. despite the tweener hormones that we are learning to live with here and the fact that my kindergartner prefers his room to be in the 'dump' status, i just have to say that they are the best. truly. they have been teaching me much lately. i hope i am teaching them a thing or two as well.

five--middle school can be ugly. (thank goodness one does not have to repeat it. hopefully.) while working yesterday, i saw all that my eldest son deals with during his school day. it was a reminder to me to make sure that our home is his refuge. it also was a reminder to me of how much i have to be thankful for... it also reminded me to sanitize my hands and to be aware of what my son watches and listens to.

six--okay, this is just plain petty, but i am thrilled that our town recently opened a trader joe's. i get excited about little things.

seven--on my side of the family, our Christmas gift this year is that my extended family will be taking a disneyworld trip together next summer. we started planning. aligning four families' schedules and preferences requires divine intervention. how do i know that God is at work in this? dates, plane tickets, and rooms were all agreed upon and booked this week. i am so excited for the memories of all of us doing this together. i love that my boys get to have grandparent and aunt & uncle memories like this. i feel very blessed.

eight--oh, how i strongly dislike commercialized Christmas.  in contrast, i love all that the first true night of Christmas entailed: a quiet, unexpected point in time where God gifted us with a most wonderful gift--the gift of His Son. a time where God used the ordinary to do something extraordinary... i love that God modeled love through sacrifice, not because it cost Him so much and i receive so much more than i deserve, but because it shows me how to love in the deepest way. Christmas truly is not about giving a bevy of luxurious (and unneccesary) gifts, but about giving from the heart...sacrificially, thoughtfully, completely. the first Christmas was God modeling His love for us in a very tangible way. that, i like.

nine--whoever is reading this, i hope that you have a truly blessed Christmas season and that you have a moment to reflect not on Santa, but on the CHRIST part of Christmas. if you are in a rush, you will not be able to truly understand what this season is to remind us of. God speaks in the most quiet of moments. i pray that you have quiet moments to hear God speak to you this Christmas. blessings to you.

until next time...

google experiment, take one

i am completely amused at what pops up in the google ads with each post and refresh.
today, it would appear that i am a blonde hacker that is going to bible college, who simply must see the latest harry potter flick.

let us experiment...
i am going to type a random list of things that i enjoy and we shall see what google adsense brings to us.

here we go:
(in no particular order of importance)

books, nature, gift giving, goldendoodle dogs, grey's anatomy on thursday evenings, dr. pepper, chocolate, down blankets, my life is good warm socks, coffee, dear friends that love me as i am, crocheting scarves, coupons, avoiding housework, mountains, fireplaces, taking photographs, playing with my kids, giggles, quiet moments, cornhusker football, movies, my itouch, family, long drives, long walks, exploring, Jesus, food, music, learning, compassion international, helping people i have never met, trying new things, shopping with a purpose, target, my husband, listening to my son play the violin, listening to my other son on the piano, anything with caramel in it, quiet evenings at home, hearing about my family's day, pantene hairspray, lipstick, traveling, creativity and all of its' expressions...

i think this will be an experiment that will need to be researched regularly.
now, let us observe the outcomes.

here we go...

sometimes, i am a planner. sometimes, i love to just let things 'happen' and roll with whatever comes down the pike. i like both. i like the fusion of the two--some expected things and some opportunity to improvise in the moment. i am unsure if that is 'normal' or not. but i digress...

when it came to our children, we did not 'plan' them or try to have them come during a certain time of the year or have them a certain time frame apart. they came just when God wanted them to come. i am trusting God's timing, but i do admit that sometimes, i wish our timing was a bit different...

our youngest son's birthday falls a week before thanksgiving. our oldest is right at the new year. and in between is thanksgiving, our niece's birthday, christmas, new year's, and there are extended family and friends' birthdays and anniversaries sprinkled throughout that time frame as well.

i love the celebrating and time with family and friends. i love planning surprises and i LOVE giving gifts. what i struggle with is that it all hits in the same five weeks. no spreading it out evenly throughout the remaining weeks of the year. honestly, sometimes it feels as though it is a season of gift gluttony without the opportunity to truly be grateful for and enjoy it all.

i pray that my kids know how special they are and how loved they are as their birthday celebrations are surrounded by so much chaos. i pray that they know how blessed they are as they are showered not only with gifts, but by the love shown by their family and friends as they travel to come celebrate and spend time together. i pray that they appreciate the thoughtfulness shown their way by others and that they reciprocate and multiply that their whole life long. in essence, i do not want them to get lost in the frenzy of errands, obligitory gift giving, and 'necessary' traditions. i want them to celebrate and be grateful for who God made them to be. i want them to be aware and active in recognizing and celebrating what God is doing in others. i want them to be intentional about slowing down and appreciating the moment, rather than being overwhelmed by everything that is swirling around them.

if i could plan anything, i would plan for my kids to live life the way Jesus wants them to live. i will have to see what comes down the pike...

a blonde moment

yes, literally.

while i sit here with my laptop and my cup of coffee, my hair is bathing in a solution that is returning it to its, ahem, natural color. while my husband disputes my 'natural' haircolor, i would like to state here that i have always been blonde... until i colored my hair the day after i graduated from high school. (that was when it accidentally ended up a drab shade of olive. as in green. i LOVE green...just not in my hair. after my mother was rightfully furious with me and we visited a salon that could do wonders, my hair became the 'anne of green gables' auburn i was striving for.) that color gradually faded and i entered college being the blonde that i had always been. years of coloring later, i was working through a difficult time and thought that i should radically change my haircolor as a way to build my esteem or express my frustration or something. DARK auburn with highlights. i felt evil. seriously. lesson learned from that experience: stick with your natural color. you feel much better.

and here we are on this november morning. so, today is golden blonde. we are approaching the winter and i am not going for the super sunny look. i have been champagne blonde, ultra light blonde, ultra light sun blonde, honey blonde, light golden blonde, frosted blonde...i have even done that bleach packet straight up. golden should be good today. that even sounds good. and least i will be encouraged when i look at the mirror and there are not pesky darker roots taunting me. (and those few emerging greys. grrrrrr.)

am i covering up who i am now as i alter my haircolor with chemicals that are probably toxic? i guess i don't look at it that way. i look at it more as maybe holding on to a piece of my past that is a physical part of my identity...even though i generally disdain the typical blonde stereotypes. as i have worked through a few different hair shades, i will refer to that oh-so-typical line... i have had more fun as a blonde.

so honey, argue all you want, this is my natural color. :)

(yikes! look at the clock! need to rinse the toxic sludge off before it turns an entirely unexpected color!)

randomness

i am feeling rather random today. it is one of those i-need-to-try-and-get-a-variety-of-loose-ends-tied-up-and-some-other-things-started kind of day. so...i shall bore you with my list here, hoping that it helps me to remember and prioritize and motivate.

i have already updated and balanced the checkbook. something i should have done near the end of last week, but i can now say that i have that task completed (until it needs to be done again). i paid some bills and the dog was thrilled that he got to go along for the ride. i cheated birthday baking at the end of the week by ordering cupcakes from our grocery store. they can decorate in ways that i am incapable of, and most importantly, they can create what my birthday boy was asking for. thank goodness! i was getting nervous that i would have to find a way to recreate things in frosting. eek. i got caught up on this week's bible study homework that we will be discussing tomorrow. i guess the silver lining is that it will all be fresh in my mind since i procrastinated the majority of it to today... i took a few quiet moments with my cup of coffee and sent off some quick facebook notes to friends i wanted to encourage. (i probably should have taken the time to write notes, but quick facebook jottings are better than nothing, right?) i got the clean dishes put away and the dirty ones into the dishwasher. i cleaned the toothpaste left in the sink this morning. twice. (two boys who brushed their teeth at different times...)

as you can read right now, i am in process of blogging. i really want to get better at writing more regularly. blog. journal. notes to friends. letters to our compassion kids. whatever. i feel convicted to do it more. i feel better afterwards and there is a little less swirling around in my head. so, writing (via blog format today): check.

i need to exercise in some form. thinking it will be taking the dog for a lovely autumn stroll. wait...let me rephrase. thinking it will be trying to keep up with the dog as he is overly anxious to get going as fast as he can, as far as he can, for as long as he can on this lovely autumn day. need to mentally and physically prepare for that one.

i need to find someone to talk to about the next step in the job pursuit.

*update*
last week i did interview for a position that i applied for back at the start of august, had a physical for the position, got the okay for the position, got the ID tag for the position. good news! right?
well...the position begins in an on-call type fashion, but because i have not worked in this exact role before, i am not qualified for all the on-call positions i am receiving notices for.
so...i have a job that i am not able to work at yet. confused yet? i am!
today's goal: i need to find someone to talk to about the next step in the job pursuit. i have been trying to schedule an appointment with a person that i think can help, but she has been out of the office and out of town...and i am not even sure if she is the person i am supposed to talk to. goal is to eliminate at least a hint of the confusion today. good luck!

my youngest is turning six at the end of this week. exciting! i have been feeling terribly guilty because the weekend is overflowing with things that will compete with a birthday celebration. today is trying to reschedule and reorganize so there is some time to focus on a wonderful, thoughtful, creative, high-energy, brand new six year old. (and i need to get presents wrapped. at least the shopping is done!) with the birthday comes company, which means wow. i need to clean my house! i will probably not dig in too deep today into the cleaning because too much can happen in the course of a week. but...it is on the radar. dust bunnies should be on high alert.

and i should start thinking about what i am going to cook for supper. i am notorious at creating things right at five o'clock. thinking i should try to be a bit more intentional...although some of my favorites have come from my five o'clock planning. thinking tonight will involve pasta in some form.

and my youngest and i began writing a book this summer together. about peanut butter. over the weekend, we both were thinking about it and decided that we need to finish it. so...i hope to find a smidge of time today to pull up the document, rework some wording, and ponder how we shall illustrate. shall he draw the artwork? (there is NO way that i am doing that...his drawings are far better than mine! i can conceive some ideas, but have no skills for following through.) shall we take pictures and he can be our 'star'? do we leave the artwork and just go for something abstract? hmmmmmm. we have work to do!

i do have my daily taxi routine to fulfill as well. double-school pick-ups. thankful that it is gorgeous weather today after last friday's rain and slush-fest.

okay. i know there is plenty to fit into today... now, to go tackle something.

after lunch.

letting autumn in

turtlenecks and fleece vests, thick and fuzzy socks, down blankets...
all necessities because i want to avoid turning on the heat so i can let the autumn through the windows.

(and i will admit that my toes are frigid, but so enjoying the crisp air. :) )

removing the distractions...

tuesday mornings are spent with the sweetest group of moms that i have ever met. our church has a bible study focused on encouraging moms in their walk with Jesus. we are doing a study on how to be beautiful offerings to God. it has been good...humbling, encouraging, good.

as we were spending some time discussing the study this morning, i had one of those moments where God lets you open your eyes for a moment and you simply go "a-ha". we were talking about the things that we have counted on in ourselves--our roles as wife and mom to be the core of our identity, letting our goals define us, having our job define our value, depending on our skills to give us worth... and then tears flowed as we talked about when those things have been taken away in our lives. when those things that we were depending on disappear, then what?

here was my "a-ha"...

oh, how quickly i depend on things other than God. i find value in my view that i am a pretty decent wife and mom. i have things that i consider noble that i want to do with my life and i think that those things give me some kind of worth. i want to use my skills and be recognized and valued for my contribution to my church and community. what happens when God takes all that away?



wait for it...



i depend on Him.
(i know this probably is a "duh" thing...but it felt very new to me this morning.)

does God tenderly (and sometimes dramatically) take things away from us or put us in circumstances that we cannot depend on ourselves simply so we can depend on Him?

why would He do that?
i think of how i would do anything for my boys. i would sacrifice anything to help them grow up into the men they are to be. i want to give them gifts lavishly just because i love them, but i do not want to spoil them to the point that they do not understand the point of the gifts. i want them to be strong enough to handle difficulties that life will throw at them, so instead of rushing in to shield them from all consequence, i do let them deal with the blows that life throws them--whether those blows were due to consequence from their choices or if it is just the difficulties that seem to come with life... i am there to hug and dry tears and remind them that they are loved no matter what. in all situations. in all circumstances. i simply love them like crazy.

is that what God is trying to tell each one of us? is He simply helping us to depend on Him?sometimes, the only way He can tell us is by taking the distractions that we have created out of the picture.

He loves us like crazy...and wants us to trust Him and Him alone.

chasing my tail

my dog makes me laugh. he loves socks and cleaning out the peanut butter jar. he loves to play fetch but doesn't like to give the ball to you. he is highly affectionate, yet has a hard time just being still sometimes. and he can run like a madman in the backyard and in the 'loop' in our home. and when he is really bored, he'll chew on his foot and work to chase his tail until he can finally catch up to it.

as you well know if you have read a few of my posts, i am in the midst of the job hunt. oh, what a journey it has been. i have searched and applied. interviewed and received plenty of rejection. i studied and completed my degree, hoping that it would open many more doors in the pursuit. applied and interviewed some more. i have a very hopeful prospect, but here is where i feel as though i am chasing my tail, just like my dog: now, it does not matter that my degree is in the right field. i need very specific credit hours--a very specific number of them with a very specific GPA. and the amazing thing...this is an entry-level job. i am trying to remain optimistic and present myself well, sharing the oodles of applicable experiences that i have out in the real world, but deep down...i feel like i am chasing my tail. i am not sure what i am going to do if i actually catch it.

i think i shall curl up on my loveseat, just like my dog, right now.

an inconvenient hacking

as i was walking away from dropping my youngest off at school this morning, i had a call from my hubby. (an unusual time for him to call) i answered the phone with a "what's up?". he hesitated and i began to freak. was he in a car accident? are things okay at work? do you still have a job? did he get a call from family and he is sharing difficult news? ??? i was genuinely worried.

(insert continued dramatic pause here)

...then he shared with me that both his yahoo and facebook accounts were hacked. whoever the hacker is did a great job as they tweaked e-mail address and account settings and made it impossible for him to access account information. then shortly after i posted about the hack on my facebook page, calls and e-mails started coming in. the hacker (who i really need to come up with a nickname for...he has been the topic of conversation all morning here and i feel we may be spending more time together than i would like) sent out an e-mail under the hubby's name that we were in london, we were attacked by a man with a pistol and all our money, id's, cell phones, etc. were taken. we went to the embassy and the police, but they were no help. now, we are trapped at the hotel because they will not let us leave until the bill is paid. could you help us out in our plight?

let us set the hacker straight:
1.) we are at home and did not take any last minute european getaway. it is SO not in our budget. i love to travel, but we have school-age children and i would not be taking them out of school this time of year. and if we were going to take this trip, we would have been telling all of our family and friends immediately because i would never be able to contain my excitement about a trip like that.
2.) we would NEVER contact friends via e-mail to ask for money...even in a situation as bizarre as the hacker suggested. does anyone really do that???
3.) the hacker should not have picked my husband's account to pose as because he notoriously never checks facebook, let alone communicates with everyone via that route. do your homework, hacker!
4.) i had plans for this morning and the hacker completely messed that up.
*sarcastically* thank you, hacker.
instead, i got to go through and verify and change passwords on all of our online accounts. probably good to do this more often than we do, but it is not how i was planning my morning today. i do not appreciate what you have spent your energies on, hacker.
5.) for all the time and energy that this takes for all parties involved--the perpetrator and the perpetrated--YOU COULD BE WORKING AT A REAL JOB!!! you could have made some serious money using real computer skills instead of preying on people with back-alley tricks.

one last thing to the hacker:
i pray that no one falls for your schemes. i know we are not the only account that you hacked. i hope that as you attempt this scheme over and over that you make a mistake that leads to the end of this 'career choice' of yours. i do sincerely hope that you are busted.

to overflow

mercy and grace are something difficult for me to fathom. i feel and experience them daily, but i admit that i do not understand their fullness, their depths. i am pretty sure that i limit the doses of the two in my life because of how i have been feeling about myself...especially lately. what an unwise choice. i am limiting how God can work in my life. to willfully limit or turn away such a lavish gift--wake up, girl!!! 


this morning, i was reminded of the grace and mercy that God extended to me. i was teary all morning during our bible study (and i am pretty sure that all the gals there thought i was some hot emotional mess). it moves me to think of the price that God is willing to pay to love and save me, yet how i quickly forget that or mess things up. in our study, we were reminded of how tenderly God loves and cares for us, of the grace and mercy He extends to us and...here is the part that got to me the most: we are to extend that grace and mercy to everyone we meet because we may be the only grace and mercy they experience today. no one needs to be beat down or judged any more than they already have been. God has limitless grace and mercy that we can share with each person we encounter. oh, how i need to live this way more intentionally...how it could change other's lives...and mine.


i have much to learn, on so many levels. i know that God was reminding me this morning that first, i need to receive His grace and mercy...fully. He delights in giving His grace and mercy and i want Him to delight in me. second, i need to extend that grace and mercy to everyone i encounter. Jesus has blessed me and overwhelmed me with His love and grace. that is what should be overflowing from my life.


what a divinely timed reminder in my life...

2010 in books--part three

it has been a while. sorry. could give a long-winded excuse, but i will not.
here are the books that i have enjoyed while not blogging...


the short second life of bree tanner
by stephanie meyer


in defense of food
by michael pollan


the help
by kathryn stockett


eclipse & breaking dawn (sigh.)
by stephanie meyer


mozart's sister
by nancy moser


just jane
by nancy moser


the martian child
by david gerrold


the postmistress
by sarah blake


undaunted
by zoya phan


rare
by joel sartore


finding nouf
by zoe ferraris


twilight (double sigh.)
by stephanie meyer


half the sky
by nicholas kristof & sheryl wudunn


the wonder of boys
by (sorry...i forgot)


a million miles in a thousand years
by donald miller

what i am doing...

okay...job hunting.
tough.
humbling.
discouraging.
energy-consuming.
full of potential.
searching for the right fit.
knowing that it is out there somewhere.
putting myself out there.
waiting.
hoping.
waiting.
following up.
waiting.
waiting.
hoping.
waiting.