He saves me

psalm 116:1-6 (msg)

I love God because He listened to me,

listened as I begged for mercy.

He listened so intently

as I laid out my case before him.

Death stared me in the face,

hell was hard on my heels.

Up against it, I didn't know which way to turn;

then I called out to God for help:

"Please, God!" I cried out. "Save my life!"

God is gracious—it is He who makes things right,

our most compassionate God.

God takes the side of the helpless;

when I was at the end of my rope, He saved me.

unlike the psalmist, i am not in a life-threatening situation, but i have been/am in a difficult season. i have been trying every day to talk to Him about it all, but i will not lie, there are days that i have been weary of talking...and hearing and feeling nothing but silence. i know that He is there. i know that He listens and loves and cares. but silence is hard. waiting is hard. being unsure of my direction is hard. not knowing what is going to happen next is hard.

then i read this and am encouraged...He is listening. He will make things right. He is compassionate. He will help me. He has saved me in the grandest of ways and will save me each day. all i simply need to do is to cry out to Him. look to Him. depend on Him. the littlest thing in my life does matter to Him--He listens so intently. and He will answer...

two things

i was grateful for moments of silence today.  to study, to marvel, to digest thoughts, to process, to dream, to refocus...  i am learning that i have to be so intentional to find quiet.  i am too easily distracted and i desperately need those moments of quiet each day.

i have been studying in the psalms lately.  today were psalms 127 and 128.  to realize that true happiness and blessing come from two simple things was an encouragement to me.  happiness and blessing come from fearing God and following His commands.  it doesn't sound like a great ride--of being scared and following someone else's to-do list.  but if you truly ponder on what fearing God is and what obeying His commands mean, your perspective shifts.

i have done all kinds of things that do not fit into 'fearing God' or 'obeying His commands.'

the primary consequences are emptiness and a mess that only God can clean up.  that emptiness has been consuming in my life at times...there was a gnawing deep inside and truly, only God has been able to satisfy.  i think about the times i have felt the most full and God was always at the center of it.

our selfish moments can satisfy for a moment, but they leave you empty and thirsty afterwards.  we can choose to fill that with another selfish moment and another and another...but the emptiness will only deepen.  OR...we can look at what this Scripture shares and learn the life-lesson from it.  happiness and blessing only come from one place...and it is not us.  happiness and blessing can only come from a God that is to be feared, respected, revered and that can bless in ways that we cannot even begin to fathom.

that is what i want...deep, full happiness and blessing that does not fade because it comes from God.  i only need to do two things.  i only need to see God for who He is and i need to follow the example He has already laid out for us in His Son, Jesus Christ: to love God and to love others.

two things...

whoa

the more i think i know about who God is, the more awestruck i am.

He is unfathomable, awe-inspiring, incomprehensible.

if

how many things happen in our life because we chose this over that.  if we choose this, then there is one consequence.  if we choose that, things would take a much different course.

psalm eighty-one is a reminder of that very thing.

God was reminding the nation Israel of how He has responded to them in the past.

"In your distress you called and I rescued you."  then there was a pause...

God reminded them of what He had already done for them and then looked at what they were doing.  they were ignoring both the commands He had given them and how He had responded to them faithfully in the past.  God pleaded with them and reminded them "Hear, O my people, and I will warn you--if you would but listen to me..."  "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it."  God wanted to bless and love, but they made a choice.  they chose to let foreign gods among them.  that choice led to consequences.  the last five verses of the passage, we hear God saying what He wants to do.  He wants to love and fill us with Himself.

reading this is causing me to take a step back from myself and evaluate.  where am i not listening to God speak?  what am i missing out on because i am forgetting who God is and how He wants to respond?  am i letting myself get in the way of what God wants to do in my life?  i am taking this moment to lay at Jesus' feet and ask Him to fill me, to show me His desires for my life.  i know that His way is what is best for me and i only want His best.

quiet

i needed some time to myself this afternoon.  i've had all kinds of questions for God over the past months and even years.  i sit here quiet today.  i simply have nothing to say because of who God is.  i may not understand things, i may question things, i may have an opinion on things, but all of that pales with who God is and what He means to me in my life.

i have been reading in the book of job.  i look at all that happened to him.  i see what happened to those who loved him.  i read how his friends tried to explain the situation or comfort him or shift his perspective.  i heard job's rants and you could see how his mind was grappling to get around all that was taking place in his life.  there was yelling back and forth.  there was speculation and attitude.  there was humility and brokenness.  there was confusion and despair.

i kept reading and reading because i wanted to hear what God had to say to job.  as i got to it, it reminded me of one of those movies where you think you know how things are going to end up, but there is some huge twist that leaves you breathless.  i felt that as i read on, not because i was shocked at God's response, but because of what it said to me.

God doesn't have to explain why He is doing what He is doing in our lives.  He is sovereign and knows what is best for each one of us.  if He could give the oceans its boundaries and give life and death to all the creations of this world, He can give and take away...who am i to suppose that i need the 'why' or the 'how'?  God is God and He simply wants us to trust.  good things will happen in life, difficult things will happen in life, but God is still God.

i am quiet because i am in awe of Him.  i fear Him.  i love Him.  and i am quiet before Him.

no worries

matthew 6:25-34

been chewing on this passage for a bit.  i read it, i've heard messages on it in the past, i understand the logic of it (i think), i am convicted by it, i am moved by it, i questions some things about this world because of it, i wrestle with it, i am comforted by it.

this passage reminds us that God takes care of everything in this world.  the birds of the air, the lilies of the field...down to the smallest of His creation, it's His to care for.  if He can clothe a lily, He will have no difficulties clothing us.  if He can provide a meal for a sparrow, He will do it for us.  we need to trust in His provision, not becoming self-reliant trying to take it all into our own hands, leaving Him out of the equation. things may be different than what we considered or different than what our preferences are or may be different than what our expectations of 'provision' are, but He will provide and protect and care for.  we don't need to worry because of who He is.

it's a reminder to me of our vanity and how we quickly forget that we are taken care of.  (even though we are wearing something that is dated or driving something that isn't the latest and greatest and we aren't dining at the poshest eatery on a friday night.) in the passage, the people who chase after those things are called pagans. ouch.  it's a reminder that what the world values is so different than how God operates.  this passage is to help us regain some perspective and recognize what we should truly value and place our trust in.

i love the last verse in this passage:  "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  each day has enough trouble of its own."  look outside your front door, watch the news and surf the internet and see all that is going on in the world--plenty to worry about!  but it is just a reminder to me to take things one step at a time, trusting Him each step of the journey.

i hate to quote bobby mcferrin because it drove me absolutely nuts as they played the song over and over and over...but maybe the lyrics were inspired from this passage: 'don't worry, be happy now.'

psalm 63

when i'm tired, when i'm weary, when i need some perspective, when i'm confused, when i'm overwhelmed...this is the first passage i turn to. it gives me comfort--this is the passage i was reading when i stopped and gave my life to Jesus. it is always a reminder to me of how despite all that is going on around me and in my life, God is right there--He is powerful and glorious and trustworthy and satisfying. He is there for me to cry out to. He wants me to seek Him fervently and tell Him my deepest secrets and desires. He is my safe place.

this passage spoke to me because the writer was talking about a God that he had a close, personal relationship with--not a distant god or one that didn't care about all that was going on in his life. this God was one worth getting up in the middle of the night for and crying out to. that made it real to me--to see that this God was one that would be there in the middle of my nights, not just on Sunday mornings or in moments of extreme circumstances. this God is there all the time, wanting to listen and love--i just need to go to Him.

i love this passage. God has used it so many times in my life and i can't wait to see what else He will teach through its' words.

PSALM 63
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

my response?

was looking at the book of habakkuk in the old testament. was having a tough time reading through because i was rushing and not looking at the context of things. made myself read again, and then one more time. though this was written in days long ago in situations that i personally can't relate to (national conquest and major violence seen first hand), God has been slowly letting me chew on it...realizing that there are some very pertinent lessons for right now.

first, i decided i would love to have habakkuk as my friend. (would want to come up with a nickname of some sort though--habakkuk doesn't roll off the tongue or type easily) he's bold and he's honest. he readily admits his fears and concerns (with great detail too). he has no problem asking honest questions and asking for a response--why is all this tough stuff happening? don't you see it, God? You can do something about it! he engages in his conversation with great emotion and passion. he cares for what is taking place to him and the world around him. he trusts in a God that is in control of a situation that seems out of control to him, in a situation that appears that God has nothing to do with it.

second, habakkuk gives time for God to talk--even when the answer isn't one that he expected or wanted. i don't know what the real life conversation was like, but here in the text, habakkuk shuts up after his comments and questions and then listens to what God has to say. boy, it's easy to talk--tough to wait and listen.

i think what floors me the most about this passage is two-fold.

there is such an open dialogue between habakkuk and God. questions and answers. feelings and explanations. candid thoughts with loving, honest replies. no feelings or comments were minced or shaded--things were spoken so openly. we can learn from that today--we all can have that type of candor with God. personally, i've learned that when i try to say the right things to God instead of how i really feel or what i really want to ask, i'm disappointed every time. but when i come to God with everything exposed, there is such a tender God there that loves me through--speaking and answering in ways that touch me to the core of who i am. (even though i may have expected God to answer things differently or switch to doing something my way)

i adore habakkuk's response at the end of the passage.
(chapter three, verses seventeen and eighteen)
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
God didn't give habakkuk the answer he may have necessarily wanted or circumstances that seemed just in his perspective. but habakkuk's choice was to praise a God that is in control of all things, despite what was going on around him. i love how habakkuk was free to list all the things that weren't going right around him--he was simply showing us that there are all kinds of reasons to doubt God's timing and plan, all kinds of reasons to simply draw inward and cry against a God that would allow such. BUT, there is that last statement:
YET i will rejoice in the Lord, i will be joyful in God my Savior.
in the middle of the difficulties, his response was praise. it was joy (which is so much different than happiness). God is still God despite the difficulties of things around us. He is using those difficulties to shape us to grow more of His character--to be more loving, more kind, more patient, more understanding, more tender, more thoughtful, more forgiving...

i have to ask myself: is this my response? when life is hard and things go differently than i wanted or expected, is my response like habakkuk's? i would like to think so...at least some.

shut up

i enjoy being a busy person. i love having eighteen things going all at once. (is that a mild form of a.d.d.?) i love cramming a ton of things into my day--kids, work, reading, typing, listening, walking, visiting... God has been teaching me for some time now on prioritizing all those things, that things have to come in a certain order for life to be lived with impact, with abundance. He comes first, my marriage and family second...and everything falls into an order in the list.

lately, God moved things to a slightly deeper level. good that you're getting things in order, but now I need you to shut up. I need you to be quiet, to be still, to listen, to wait. i have to say, i think i may have missed Him asking a few times because of all the noise. so God did what only God can do, He's cleared out some of the 'noise'.

for the past few months, there has been a time of silence in my day--every day. amazing how loud it is. at first, i didn't know what to do. i tried filling the time with activities, i cried, i yelled, i pouted by doing nothing. then...something dawned on me a bit ago--silence is such a gift. God has given me a time of silence each day to simply listen to Him. amazing that once you shift your perspective just a bit what you hear in that silence.

silence allows time to think, to reflect, to examine. it's given me opportunities to look at things in my life that i need to let God work on. it's encouraged me by letting me get away from the world that is spinning like crazy around me and regain perspective. it recharges, renews, refreshes.

been spending some time in psalm 46. go look at it. go to www.biblegateway.com if you don't have a bible and type in 'psalm 46' and see what it says. God uses this amazing contrast--the massive roars and crashes that happen in nature, the roars and yells of civilations as we clash with one another constrasted to His powers and what He can do...and then here's the clincher, it says to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. this passage has paragraphs of busy, noisy, overwhelming forces and then you have to be careful not to miss the quiet reminder at the end. don't miss it.

in the middle of the crashes and roars and feuds and battles and noise, God asks us to be still for just a moment and know that He is God. He is giving us a reminder at the end of this passage to make a concerted effort to find a still moment each day and remember who is God, who He is and who is in control.

i'm going to go and savor my small moments of silence today.

purpose

God's various gifts are handed out everywhere,
but they all originate in God's Spirit.
God's various ministries are carried out everywhere;
but they all originate in God's Spirit.
God's various expressions of power are in action everywhere,
but God himself is behind it all.
Each person is given something to do that shows who God is:
Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits.
All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit,
and to all kinds of people.
The variety is wonderful:
wise counsel
clear understanding
simple trust
healing the sick
miraculous acts
proclamation
distinguishing between spirits
tongues
interpretation of tongues.
All these gifts have a common origin,
but are handed out one by one
by the one Spirit of God.
He decides who gets what and when.
1 Corinthians 12:4-11 (The Message translation)

each one of us is given something--a strength, a talent, a passion, an ability--that shows who God is to those around us. that amazes me. things that come naturally for me were placed inside by a God that wants me to show others who He is. (pretty humbling, isn't it?) there are things in you that God wants to use and speak through and tell others about Him.

honestly, i know i don't always show Him the best. i let myself get in the way and don't let Him be seen. this passage is a great reminder to me...it never has been about me--it's always been about God and Him wanting to show a world how much He loves them. He uses all people in all ages to share His message--He does it in a numberless amount of ways. i know God has used friends in my life to help with wise counsel in difficult situations or help me to understand something that i had been wrestling with. i've seen people come out on the other side of a cancer diagnosis free of disease that can only be attributed to God's miraculous power. because someone gives and serves, someone who is in need will be okay for another day.

because of God's goodness to us, we can be good to others. because He meets our needs, we can help others. because He loves us, we can love others. God makes each one of us who we are with one purpose in mind--each one of us, in our own unique way, can show the world who God is.