transition shock

today was a big day in our home. oldest child to middle school. youngest to kindergarten.
dog is confused and will not leave my side while the boys are gone. i was overwhelmed by how quiet our home was this morning and early afternoon. it was bad enough that i even...exercised. by choice.


oldest is at the point where he does not want to be let off too close to school, for fear that someone might realize that his mom drove him there. oh wait--EVERYONE'S mom drives them there. and i was a bit concerned about pick-up, but was delightfully surprised by how he wanted to share every (and i do mean every detail) about the first day in this foreign place. (and secretly, i was thrilled that he wants to talk about it all...i hope we have debriefing sessions like this every day. maybe just focusing on the major highlights and not the exact folders and notebooks he needed to grab between each class and why.)


youngest had his stubborn moments of not wanting to smile for a picture. or wear the shirt that we picked out at the store together. or wear his backpack. (he only wanted to carry it over his head.) but the BEST was him running to me out of the building to give me the best kindergarten hug ever. and when i asked him about his first day, he replied: "it was... ... AWESOME." all the parents around me got a giggle out of his reaction.


so, all in all, it really was a good day. it seems strange to call this 'normal'...both boys gone all day long. and me exercising. i think they are transitioning just fine...it is this mama that is in a state of shock. i think it will get easier day by day...

proud mama

last night my eldest had a performance with a strings group he was selected to be a part of. as parents, it was a sweet evening--to see that all the driving around and extra lessons and lecturing at home that "yes...you HAVE to practice today" moments truly do have a reward. yes, he's learning a discipline that will benefit him his whole life. yes, he's learning an appreciation for the beauty of music. yes, he's meeting new people and learning how to work together. but, the best part was hearing him going to bed and saying "THAT was fun."

a step today

today, i am a hodgepodge of emotions.

last week, we registered our oldest for middle school.

today, we register our youngest for kindergarten.

i am excited for how my boys are growing up towards manhood. i am loving to see and experience them growing up. i laugh at how their sense of humors are developing and how they incorporate what they know of the world into their day to day conversation. i appreciate some of the independence that they are gaining...but struggle with how my role changes a little each day.

i am a little teary because my first-born is getting ready to step into unknown territory (and i remember some of the heartaches of middle school) and my baby is not a baby anymore (and he keeps crying that he would much rather stay at his preschool and wonders who will keep me company in the daytime while he is at school...as i reminded him, thank goodness we have our dog and cat!).

i am launching my children a little farther into the world each day. some days are easier than others. some days i want to let them soar and other days i want to hold them a little closer than i did even the day before. i am so grateful that God helps us on this journey and has us walk only a step at a time.

okay...off to register...and then we will come home and play. :)

serenaded

my fifth grader willingly came to me (fully on his own accord) and asked if he could play a song for me on his violin. i love it!

be still

we are going on week number two of having sickness in some form residing at our home. first it was me with the sinus crud...finally in the end stages. next was my littlest with one of the nastiest coughs i think i have heard. it has a firm grip on him and we just cannot seem to shake it. my eldest is in an on-again-off-again state of illness...so we are just praying that it wraps itself up quickly and is over with.

i don't think any of us enjoys illness. the extra time at home is nice. the wearing of pajamas all day is a nice break. but the actual illness...not so much fun. colin (my littlest) thinks that being sick means that you get to hang at home in your jammies, watch extra tv and play video games. oh, how he has gotten to learn this week that that is not so. he has fought me intensely each day that he does not need rest. he does NOT need rest. and yet, each day as i make him purposefully be still for just five minutes...he falls asleep and naps for a few hours.

looking at him right now, peacefully sleeping on the couch...makes me appreciate these still moments. i love his energy, but i love how peaceful he can be too. i am truly hoping that these still moments help his body heal and that we are running around like crazy again soon...

the power of the commerical

i like yogurt. my kids do not...well...they will eat it when forced upon them under threat of not getting television time or video game time.

then enter: the commerical.

zach and cody are super pumped about their danimals crush cups. my boys can recite the commercial verbatim. i have heard about how good they are, how fun they are, how good they are for you. my youngest has begged me for them each trip to the grocery store. they have told me how much they like yogurt--only danimals yogurt. they have resorted to accusing me of not being a good mom because i have not purchased 'fun' food like that.

then came: the coupon.

there was cheering from the grocery cart today. the day was finally here--coupon in hand--we could FINALLY get the danimals crush cups. colin talked cheerfully all through the store about how he did not want his crush cup for a snack, he was saving it to be a part of his lunch. he was going to eat it all and it was going to be so much fun.

then: lunch.

who needs his favorite peanut butter sandwich when there is the almighty crush cup? i watched as he ate...no, DEVOURED...the few ounces of strawberry banana yogurt. he has NEVER eaten yogurt like that before. he slurped. he licked every corner of that little red container. he smiled all throughout. i smiled inside thinking: why didn't i think of this sooner? let them eat yogurt without a spoon. not in a bowl but in a little plastic cup that they can smash and squish. and the best part...let them slurp.

how can i convince advertisers to make vegetables that fun?

story after story after story after story

last night, carter and his dad needed to go to basketball practice, so colin and i got to have a little bit of time together before bed.  as we watched the big guys head out the door, there was a sweet voice by my side...

"mommy...can we just read a bunch of stories under the big green blanket?"

we read.

and read and read.

'i love you the purplest'

'junior's colors'

'the north star'

'i love you because you're you'

'my big brother'

'welcome to birdwell island'

'are you my mother?'

...

it was just a sweet time.  i pointed to the words he could read and he "read" with me too.  then it was off to brush teeth and to be tucked in.  prayers and kisses.  one last drink and more kisses.  lights off and i was out to the living room.  i heard a pitter-patter across his room and back to his bed.  knowing colin, i thought i better check in with him.

"whatcha doing, munchkin?"

(i saw him holding a journal and pen)

"i needed to write."

"really?"

"yeah...i needed to write the words we read together so i don't forget them."

*smiles*

i hope he writes as many stories as we read.

a little more today

lately, i have been in awe at watching my boys grow up and feeling just a little of the ache of letting them go just a little more each day.  it is good that they are growing up and stretching their wings, preparing for the flight that will inevitably come...  as a mom, i am learning how to hold them a little looser and entrusting them to the One that so lovingly has let me care for them here.

today, carter officially begins his basketball season.  his team has had a few practices and it is time to put what they have been working on into practice.  we approach the season with a little concern--two years ago, they were the 'undefeated losers.' we can laugh now at this. :) last year, some things started to come together--in the last half of the season.  for this year, i think we are just hoping that there are enough victories to help build some confidence, yet enough losses for them to realize the need to continue learning, practicing, and focusing on the concept of working together as a team.  i am in awe of the life lessons that can be taught through a recreational activity.  i hope today is a good day for carter--not necessarily winning a game, but in learning valuable lessons.

for colin, everything is about the word 'no' right now.  he hates it, despises it, throws a temper tantrum when the word is uttered to him.  he really perplexes me as he struggles through this.  his brother has been a 'parent pleaser', understanding the directive 'listen and obey.'  the whole concept of obeying when you disagree with the direction and having to go along with something different than you would like is just foreign to him.  colin loves doing things his way--even if it is harder or not always in his best interest.  he keeps me on my knees talking to God...yet i see an incredible vivaciousness in him that is just contagious.  i think he will be a very effective, strong man someday if he learns that 'no' is not always a bad thing...

i will watch them grow a little each day, praying that they become the incredible, strong, gifted, effective men of God that He created them to be...that they will be blessed far beyond anything i could ever hope for them.

so i let go just a little more today.

puppy moments

i am having a little 'moment' here in my living room that i just had to blog about...

we recently purchased (that's right, purchased!  not a hand-me-down or used...) two loveseats to go in our living room.  since they moved in, we all love hanging out in this room!  (i think the christmas tree helps as well :) )  i am sitting on one loveseat, sadly checking facebook and all the blogs i bookmarked while colin and chewy are sitting opposite me on the other loveseat.

here's the dialogue i am listening to and smiling like crazy:

colin: who's my little puppy?

chewy: (lays his head on colin's lap)

colin: that's right. you're my puppy. are you a good puppy?

chewy: (hasn't moved an inch)

colin: well...you're kinda a naughty puppy sometimes.

chewy: (trying to chew colin's hands)

colin: yes, puppy.  you try to eat my mittens.

chewy: (now getting restless and gets off couch)

colin: do you want to play, puppy?  i'll play ball with you.

chewy: (now bringing balls left and right to colin)

[end of dialogue...balls, boy and dog are a blur in the living room]

wait...one more...

colin: come here puppy, i love ya.

seriously stylish

my almost four year old has been expanding his vocabulary lately.  kids are little sponges, soaking the world in around them.  it has been fun to talk and to figure out his understanding of the world around him.

a couple days ago, i rearranged colin's room to make it 'new' for his birthday week.  yesterday, i was cleaning windows when he came up behind me and asked me this question:

"mom, do you think my room is stylish?" 

my reply: "stylish?  well...  ahhh...what do you think 'stylish' is?"

colin: "stylish means it is very clean."

my reply: "then, yes, it is stylish right now.  we'll ask that again in ten minutes!"

this morning, colin came up to me and said "mom, i am seriously ready to go."

"seriously, colin?"

"seriously, mom."

he proceded to use 'seriously' in as many sentences as possible today.

i seriously loved it! :)

timeless classics

this afternoon, colin and i snuggled under a down blanket to read stories on a cold day.

sick dinosaurs and bears that talk helped us learn a small lesson or two.

he asked me to sing him a song i knew when i was a little girl.  (i love when he asks things out of the blue!)  the only thing that came to mind right away were nursery rhyme songs--

jack and jill

humpty dumpty

london bridge

he kept asking for song after song.

i forgot a few words of some of the more obscure ones,

so we went and got my mother goose book out that my grandparents gave me for christmas.

we opened the cover and there was a note from them, dated 1975.

i got a little teary.

we read and sang and sang and read.

little boy blue

what little boys are made of

little jack horner

colin loved it.  we went through the over one hundred pages in this book with yellowed pages and drawings that they don't do anymore.  i loved that he loved it.  he asked if we could read them again later.  how can i say no?

(i am trying to figure out how to use some of mother goose's vocabulary in my daily conversation...'betwixt' has got to fit in there somehow!)

just wonderful

colin is going to be my cassanova.  we were at the store and i was trying on a few things (gotta love end of the season sales!).  i had three dresses i wanted to try on.  got the first one on and i hear from colin:  "oh mom.  that looks just wonderful on you."  i smiled and got a little teary--too sweet.  went on to dress number two.  "well...you could go dance with dad in that one."  and number three.  "mom, you need to get a dress.  it's just wonderful."  thought it was just too sweet.

(i hate to admit that i did not get a dress today.  i did find two shirts though :) )

defying all laws of known physics

colin is entering that territory of needing a small nap, but really, really (and i mean really) does not like to take them.  even though you can see that he is wiped beyond exhaustion, he just will not crash.  every few days, i let him go without--and we all pay the price.

on the days where there is no nap, he sleeps TERRIBLE during the night.  waking up every several minutes crying.  tossing and turning.  no solid rest.

WHY IS THIS???  his little body is so tired, yet he won't fall into that deep sleep.  this defies logic to me--his body is tired, sleep should be deep and good.  or so one would think.  that's colin--defying reason!

no nap today.  guessing i'll be a little sleepy tomorrow...

what would my mother say?

supper tonight: milkshake--carmel to be exact.

question asked: how's supper tonight?

carter's reply: "beyond AWESOME!"

colin's reply: "can i have more?"

releasing a day's worth

summer is officially about over.  we had our school's open house tonight and that is always a sign of the season's end.

it was fun to catch up with friends we haven't seen for a bit and meet some new ones as well.  it's interesting to see the moms of first time kindergardeners and the seasoned moms who's babies are in their last year at this school.

i sit in awe of how quickly kids grow.  it is a reminder of how we need to release them a little each day--because the act of having to do it all at once would be absolutely heart-breaking.  my fourth grader walked the halls tonight feeling confident, knowing where to go and what to do.  my heart aches just a little for the moment where he gets to start over again in middle school, unsure of where to go and where his friends will be.

i don't want to make my boys grow up any faster than they need to, but i don't want to hold on too tightly that they miss a step in their growing up.  i'll let go just today's worth and hold on to tomorrow's.  tomorrow will be here soon enough.

we got a wii

i am a mom of boys and a very youthful husband.  video games have become an accepted reality in my life.  i used to fight it--begging and pleading that a great book is just as marvelous--but have given in, knowing that i would never win.  time to embrace this very 'boy' activity of gazing at the screen, frantically looking for the hidden level and all the bonus points.

so...we got a wii today.  we've been on a waiting list, but actually found one in stock today.  i had saved for this moment.  we've charged batteries and gotten all the cables connected.  i've made my mii and got to play for about five minutes.  then, the boys descended from above and have taken over.

i have to admit, it's hilarious to watch them work up a sweat boxing and reminding them to step farther away from the tv as they bowl.  and i do like the idea that they are up and moving during this pastime--far better than before where their backsides would be numb from playing a bit too long.

maybe they are converting me...

conquering fears

for my oldest, carter, this summer has been one of conquering fears.

he really did not like dogs.  at. all.  we now not only own one, but he lays on the floor with him (and chewy is the size of a small horse), wants to take care of him and play with him.  so cool to see that growth in him.

he does not like being alone.  at. all.  he's been overcoming that as i've had him 'babysit' his brother for fifteen minutes while i take the dog for a walk, run a short errand...  he LOVES that he is growing up and enjoys that responsibility now.

tonight.  swimming.  this is a big one.  while he was at the babysitter's when he was four, she let him under the water multiple times, despite his protesting and crying.  we have not been able to beat this one, despite numerous patient attempts.  so...tonight, we begin private swimming lessons.  i will be anxious to add a check to:  conquering fear of water.

he's been on quite the adventure this summer.  awesome to watch him confront and grow.

my boys

picking shoes

i'm in the kitchen watching my three-year-old play a very intriguing game.  we're picking shoes.

he goes into his room, slides under his bed with all the dustbunnies and is finding shoes of days gone by.  he comes out with one on one foot and a 'match' from another pair and asks me 'which one do you like best?'  i point out the one i like, ask him if that one feels funny because it is on the wrong foot, he replies 'nope', heads back to his room to come out with the next 'pair'.

it's been going on for about ten minutes now and he's had a different combination each time he comes out.  i'm avoiding going in his room at the moment...there are shoes trailing from his bedroom, down the hallway, into the living room, into the kitchen.

(i'm praying he's not picking up my behavior of trying on about four different things before deciding what to wear.  we'll never make it out the door in the mornings!)

don't grow too quickly

i'm sitting upstairs listening to the noise of crazy boys playing downstairs, listening to the gentle breathing of a little one sleeping next to me.  colin wanted to keep playing with carter and the neighbor boys (who are all much older than him), but alas, naptime needed to happen.

there was kicking and screaming right until the moment he fell into an exhausted rest.  he kept crying 'i'm big enough.  i don't need a nap today.  i want to be with the big boys.'  i almost gave in and let him stay up until there was a little voice inside crying out 'don't let him grow up too fast.  he has plenty of long afternoons in the backyard to come.  and remember what he was like last time without a nap???'

so, boys are playing downstairs and in and out into the backyard.  boy is sleeping peacefully next to me.

they grow up so fast...i wish it could slow down just a little.