step...step...step

i have been in a 'mountain reading' mood lately. blogs, forums, books... i have been missing the mountains and have the desire to do some serious, long, contemplative hiking. since the closest thing i have to mountains here at home is the hill we take the boys sledding on, reading will have to do.

i think the idea of 'journey' is something that i really relate to right now in life. we may not always know what the end will exactly be or even what the final destination is, but part of the enjoyment and meaning and fulfillment is the road getting there. i feel like i am in that middle part, not knowing exactly where i am heading, but know that there is something worth climbing to. i keep taking a step followed by another one. there are things to enjoy along the way...but i have to admit that i am feeling weary without knowing exactly where this path is going.

i was so grateful for today's devotional in Jesus Calling. it was a reminder of God wanting each step--that i am not to worry about tomorrow, i am simply to trust Him today.

step...step...step...

i thought it was something little

i have been feeling highly convicted lately to pray for, think about, write to, my dear sweet children that are around the world--my compassion children. i shamelessly admit that i get teary-eyed when i hold and read each letter from them and look at the few pictures we have of them. i feel like i do very little for them--sponsorship, writing letters and e-mails, and sending a small packet of photos and hand-drawn pictures from my children to them seems like a trifle when i know a portion of all that they struggle with in day-to-day life. and then i read this:

http://blog.compassion.com/child-expectations-of-their-sponsors/

those little e-mails and notes are making a difference in children's lives.

that humbles me.

got my funny bone

attitude, persuasion, conformity

those are the primary subjects i have tackled so far in this week's class reading homework.

a few weeks into this social psychology class, and i honestly am overwhelmed at the human capacity to be so influenced, even on subconcious levels. we are easily persuaded, influenced...worried about fitting into ingroups and outgroups...fall into falling for prejudices that we do not even know are there...

it has been a powerful reminder to me about how God made us...He made us each uniquely in His image, yet sin has marred His creation. instead of resting in who He made each one of us to be, we are concerned with what others think of us--sometimes even putting others down just to feel better about ourselves, of struggling with self-esteem since we do not fully understand, nor rest in, what He created us to be...

for just a moment, i am going to rest in the fact that all God wants me to be is the unique creation He made to fulfill specific purposes.

(what do you think of that? is that okay?)

forgive me

i have not been a very good blogger for some time now. there have been things worth writing about. there has been time to write. i simply did not feel like expressing all of life in blog-form for the time being. the 'old-school' actually-use-a-pen type journal won out. i was reminded by the ache in my hand that i should probably physically write more often...you know, to build up strength.

the latest:

after some research, found out that i only needed two classes to complete my bachelor's degree. this is something that should have been done years ago, but alas, life happens and my priority has been my family. BUT...the stars have aligned so to speak and it is time to finish this puppy up. this past week, i began a five-week accelerated social psychology class. should be good, but very time consuming with the homework volume each week. then, will take one other class independently once i get past this first one.

had a job interview this past week as well. praying it is the right fit. could be a very engaging, exciting job...and the bonus is that it fits with my family's schedule where i will still be available for my kids. need to wait for the rest of the interviews to take place and then i will find out final decisions. so...i wait.

winter activities are kicking off today. basketball and extra music things for one son and preschool field trips for the other. i am sure that God knew what He was doing when we were blessed with only two children...i am clueless as to how some moms keep up with so many schedules!

and speaking of winter...yes, it is! record cold, record snow amounts, record amount of school snow days used. it has felt like an extended winter break with the exception that we have been trapped in our home. (that is not a bad thing...) i enjoy some snow, but this is a bit extreme. feeling a bit stir crazy today...

okay...brief update. better get some coffee in me.

serenaded

my fifth grader willingly came to me (fully on his own accord) and asked if he could play a song for me on his violin. i love it!

thankful in all things...

i truly appreciate the thanksgiving season and its' reminder that we have so much to be thankful for. (actually, i think that thanksgiving gets short-changed...christmas has been set out since before october and thanksgiving is just squeezed in an aisle between halloween and christmas. grrr.) anyway...

i have been trying to be intentional and think about all that i have to be grateful for each day. big things. little things. even the stuff i don't necessarily like, but can still be grateful for. and then this week has happened.

i learned about divorce in extended family that we didn't have a clue that was coming, praying for a friend's health and tests that give more concern than answers, some tension in some relationships that you feel like you need to be switzerland to, but you feel more on one side than the other...and then i had read a book about some of the social injustices in the world and the news and...

and then the reminder to stop. breathe. remember that God is God of this world and works in all things, has a plan that is above all things, and never EVER leaves our side (even when we think the difficulties are more than we can bear.) He is King and i am grateful, thankful, appreciative that He is over it all.