fresh start

i love spring.  it is a reminder of fresh starts, new beginnings... colors pop from the dullness of winter...new green on weathered branches.  gusty breezes blowing away that stale feeling of being inside too long.  i go outside and cannot help but breathe too deeply.

i love easter week.  (not because of excesses of chocolate available, although that is a perk!)

it is a reminder of the ultimate fresh start--the spiritual one we can have in this life.  it is a reminder of a heavy price Jesus paid for all of humanity for all time and it is a reminder of extravagant love.  the cross is stained with His crimson blood so that we might be made gleaming white. i love that this week gives intentional opportunity to reflect and meditate on Jesus and what He accomplished in this life that changes all of eternity.

i love fresh starts.  i love to breathe it in deeply.

long time, no blog

it has been awhile.  not sure why.  life has been crazy busy, but i have found moments of solitude sprinkled through it all.  i guess i have been pretty selfish with those moments--wanting to study, to read, to listen, to rest.  and honestly, i was unsure if the things of life recently have been blog-worthy...it has been routine busyness and some of the same old, same old.

so why am i saying anything about it today?  not sure.  life's busy.  i need a quiet moment here and there to help with perspective and give me time to think about motives and motivation, values and choices, desires and direction and most importantly, to have a quiet moment to listen attentively to what God has to say...

is this post one of deep value or content?  not necessarily... but just something to say that i am here and that life is going on a day at a time.

two things

i was grateful for moments of silence today.  to study, to marvel, to digest thoughts, to process, to dream, to refocus...  i am learning that i have to be so intentional to find quiet.  i am too easily distracted and i desperately need those moments of quiet each day.

i have been studying in the psalms lately.  today were psalms 127 and 128.  to realize that true happiness and blessing come from two simple things was an encouragement to me.  happiness and blessing come from fearing God and following His commands.  it doesn't sound like a great ride--of being scared and following someone else's to-do list.  but if you truly ponder on what fearing God is and what obeying His commands mean, your perspective shifts.

i have done all kinds of things that do not fit into 'fearing God' or 'obeying His commands.'

the primary consequences are emptiness and a mess that only God can clean up.  that emptiness has been consuming in my life at times...there was a gnawing deep inside and truly, only God has been able to satisfy.  i think about the times i have felt the most full and God was always at the center of it.

our selfish moments can satisfy for a moment, but they leave you empty and thirsty afterwards.  we can choose to fill that with another selfish moment and another and another...but the emptiness will only deepen.  OR...we can look at what this Scripture shares and learn the life-lesson from it.  happiness and blessing only come from one place...and it is not us.  happiness and blessing can only come from a God that is to be feared, respected, revered and that can bless in ways that we cannot even begin to fathom.

that is what i want...deep, full happiness and blessing that does not fade because it comes from God.  i only need to do two things.  i only need to see God for who He is and i need to follow the example He has already laid out for us in His Son, Jesus Christ: to love God and to love others.

two things...

story after story after story after story

last night, carter and his dad needed to go to basketball practice, so colin and i got to have a little bit of time together before bed.  as we watched the big guys head out the door, there was a sweet voice by my side...

"mommy...can we just read a bunch of stories under the big green blanket?"

we read.

and read and read.

'i love you the purplest'

'junior's colors'

'the north star'

'i love you because you're you'

'my big brother'

'welcome to birdwell island'

'are you my mother?'

...

it was just a sweet time.  i pointed to the words he could read and he "read" with me too.  then it was off to brush teeth and to be tucked in.  prayers and kisses.  one last drink and more kisses.  lights off and i was out to the living room.  i heard a pitter-patter across his room and back to his bed.  knowing colin, i thought i better check in with him.

"whatcha doing, munchkin?"

(i saw him holding a journal and pen)

"i needed to write."

"really?"

"yeah...i needed to write the words we read together so i don't forget them."

*smiles*

i hope he writes as many stories as we read.

kinda like a country song

have not blogged lately.  not because there are not things to share, but because things have just seemed a little overwhelming and i felt like it would be all 'woe is me' kind of posts.  (okay, i will say right here and now that i know that my little problems are exactly that--LITTLE.  there are far more difficult and terrible things going on in the world and my little list below is pretty trite.)

in the past few weeks--

--my dog was hit by a car

(thank goodness he walked away with only psychological side effects, not a physical injury in the least)

--car speeding by knicked mine and i was not fast enough to get a license plate number

--it was our week at the basketball game to bring drinks and i totally forgot

--library books are overdue

--my youngest was sick, complete with vomiting

--i have been sick (not as bad as my youngest)

--got one bill in the mail two days too late because i kept forgetting to get stamps

--some thing from the past came up and it brings up a whole host of emotions as i process it all again

--some things i would really rather not say on a blog where just anybody can read it all

but, to look on the bright side of things--

--my family has had time together at home, just enjoying each other

--we did not have a car accident, despite another car knicking us

--we have friends that love us and forgive silly moments

--our sicknesses have been short-lived and we are blessed with good health

--we have jobs that help pay the bills (and we have bills to pay because we have a nice home)

--our future is not determined by our past

--God knows each thing we go through and works all things together for His good

compassion's blog

please visit compassion international's blog.  

http://blog.compassion.com/

i stop here EVERY day.

to hear how God is working.  to see how little things are making a difference in a big way.  to hear stories of people climbing out of poverty with hope and dreams. to see pictures of children and their families and know that they have enough for today.  to see a silver lining in some very dark clouds.

it is too easy to forget all of the world that is struggling to make it through the day while we sit in our living rooms and minivans, picking up drive-thru because it was easier for us today...  this blog reminds me of how blessed we are and how God wants us to help others (and that is a small, easy thing to do!).

this blog is a starting point for me...first--to remember others, second--to move beyond remembering others to acting and doing something for others.  i love how God can use little things to motivate us and move us forward.  He is good.

figuring it out

i am sitting in my living room, dog at my side (don't tell my husband that he is on the couch with me...seriously) and just listening.  i have heard the same portion of a phrase of music over twenty times.  i absolutely love it.  i am hearing my son try to get the mind and fingers and instrument to align together on these few notes.  it is not perfect.  heck, it is not even pretty to listen to...but he is trying and learning and that is a beautiful sound.

it reminds me of my school years where i sounded TERRIBLE on the flute, but boy, did i want to figure that thing out.  i wanted to make my fingers work so i would not have to think about them while my body was trying to figure out what it needed to do to have a crystal-pure tone.  i would go in my room and close the door and stay there for hours, working on the same song over and over.  (sorry, mom...you must have been sick of 'windy' and me trying to play the melodies on the radio!)

the feeling of figuring something out...of getting past the technical to the musical...of conquering something you could not do before...that is a part of experiencing life...i love it.  (and he is playing better now that he was just a half-hour ago!)