mandatory naptime

i think that we should have a mandatory naptime each day--babies, toddlers, kids, students, adults... think about the profound impact that would have on the world: people would be less crazy, cranky, maxed out... other cultures have this practice--why can't we learn from them?

my two year old missed his nap today. the world is not the same when he misses his nap. let me clarify, MY world is not the same when he misses his nap. short fuse, tears that come quickly, a tantrum here and there, things that he normally enjoys or finds funny put him over the top (with me coming quickly after).

thank goodness--he is now peacefully asleep in his little bed with his blanket, five or six hot wheels cars, a stuffed snoopy and a story book--all the essentials to go to bed--and i can retreat to a little place of quiet.

naptime is mandatory tomorrow.

that inner voice

intuition--it's a very interesting thing that has always perplexed me. that gut feeling that you can't fight. that hunch that you can't explain, but for some reason nine times out of ten, is right. that thing that helps us to act swiftly without thinking. that vibe that you can't fully put into words, but feel with intense emotion and passion. that feeling that this is right, but you can't explain why. this inner drive and thought process that seems almost primal.

this past week, i've experienced intuition in different ways.

i've observed my older son and how he handled an incredibly difficult experience at school. he could have easily cut and run by taking the simple route, but knew that he would need to do 'the right thing'--despite the difficulties he had to work through. carter learned that you need to obey that inner voice even when there are easier choices. as a mom, can't tell you how proud i was (i am!) as a mom, my intuition was to want to make things easier for him--but knowing that this was an experience that will impact how he approaches things to come, let it all happen.

my younger son had a slightly different encounter and learned things the tough way... we were at my parents' home on saturday for a visit and colin was chasing the cat around. when she went down the stairs, he pushed his head through the bannisters so he could watch her go down. he turned his head to an angle--and then his intuition kicked in...PULL OUT! now...when you twist your head to the side, it is impossible to pull one's head back out, yet everything in him was yanking and pulling back. it took me about a minute to help him calm down, to get him to look down and then do what he was trying to do all along--easily pull his head out from between those wooden slots. i know that he is a strong-willed little boy, but was amazed at how he was trying so hard at what he thought was the right thing to do. that instinct was borderline fierce. as a mom, i got to help him learn to remain calm in the heat of it all and to trust... i think he learned some kind of lesson--every time he went by after that, he told me not to put my head in between. (and he didn't follow the cat the rest of the day)

God gives us that inner voice that helps us live life--that voice sometimes protects us, makes us take risks, helps us to do what's right, drives us in new directions, encourages us to stand up for something or someone, preserves us... sometimes it impresses a need that we feel or see around us.

it's an amazing thing that only a profound God could breathe into His creation. i am grateful.

my other child

i have two boys. they truly are my joy and i couldn't imagine life without their questions and laughter and fighting with each other and loving each other all within the same minute. yet, awhile back, God really pressed something about having a daughter. no--i wasn't pregnant again, we decided to adopt--not in the 'normal' way of adopting a child into your home. we began to sponsor micaelly through a group called Compassion.

we give a monthly donation to this organization. they have sites worldwide that help poverty-stricken children and their families. the fee provides schooling and medical care and meals and the opportunity for us to write back and forth via translators helping us each step of the way. most importantly, the children are given hope--first, because they learn about a God that loves them at all costs and is always there for them and secondly, they know that someone far away cares for them and thinks about them and helps provide for them and loves them. i love that...the downward spiral of poverty is broken by hope.


since we began our sponsorship, we have learned about another culture. we are getting to know a sweet girl and her family--we know some of their hardships, but we are amazed by their gratitude and joy and faith. to help my boys understand about her world, we have gotten books at the library, cooked recipes from their region and have even tried to learn a few key words in her language. (i'm sure i'm slaughtering the pronunciation...we're trying!)


micaelly lives in one of the largest cities in brazil, literally in the urban jungle. her mom works two jobs to provide for her and her two brothers--and i know it's not a luxurious living in any form or fashion. yet every letter is filled with colorful drawings she's made just for us and words of hope that she is now living out every day. an amazing feeling to know that one can have an impact in someone else's life like that...


all that to say, i have a daughter that lives in brazil. i may never get to meet her in this life, but i know that she has brought me joy as she shares about her faith and what she is learning and getting to do at the project and that we send hugs and kisses back and forth in letters that cross continents.

friday morning date, the capitol

every friday morning, my two-year old and i have our own special date. we've done this since he was mobile and every friday is a new adventure!

i asked where he wanted to go this friday--he wanted to visit the state capitol.
(what every two-year old wants to do, isn't it?!)
we went and had a blast! (are you allowed to have fun at major government institutions?)

our highlights:
--we jumped off of steps together
--had a lemonade in their restaurant (lunch looked good...but we had stuff to do!)
--rode the elevator to the top
--tried to find our house looking out from the top
(couldn't see our house, but found the zoo and the hospital and fountains and our car)
--laid down on the floor and looked up at the beautiful detailing on the ceilings
--ran around the top floor like it was a giant race track (colin crashed a few times :) )
--went down to the main levels and observed beautiful works of art
(colin was picking out shapes and numbers and i was enjoying the abstract today)
--got a free souvenir from our trip!
the gal who does the tours gave colin a cool poster of the capitol and his reply: coooooool!
i put this on my door in my room!
--we did the steps on the front of the capitol and had a 'rocky' moment
--we walked along the upper walkway to get back to the car, but could only walk on the dark colored squares, not the light ones
--we ran into a few senators on our way back to our car--they were all smiles and said that it was great to see such a young one interested in government :)

all in all, an enjoyable trip that could only be topped off with pb&j and a nap
(wondering if i need to start saving for law school...)

the truly modern woman

in high school and college, i worked at a clothing store at the mall. (yes, that means i was one of those mall chicks) life revolved around knowing what the latest trend is...what was soooooo last week...and what was the new 'it' thing.

got married and a lot of that faded. had a baby and i was just glad to get a shower in, let alone pull together an outfit beyond sweats and a t-shirt that color-coordinated. (oh, how priorities can change) had another baby and was just trying to fit into the clothes i had before, let alone coming up with a style or keeping up with the trends.

the mall chick era seems like ancient history and i'd like to get beyond the sweats thing. so, it's time to stick to the basics now--for me, black has always been key. (and now brown, because brown has been the new black for a bit. i also heard that pink is the new black, but i'm not there yet.)

well...now, that we know black isn't necessarily black in the fashion trends... one also needs to know that you can't just worry about colors or patterns, you truly need to be concerned about what style of shoes you wear. read an online article about how platforms are now out (what am i going to do with all of my chunky shoes???) and it's all about ballet slippers. (to think, all growing up, i was in style and didn't even know it! i was more concerned about getting the flattest shoe around so i wouldn't be the tallest person in my class--which i was until the tenth grade. i dreaded school dances because i was taller than all the guys in my class--i digress...) they mentioned that the truly modern woman is concerned with both comfort and style--which is why the ballet slipper shoe is all the rage.

if that is the criteria for being a truly modern woman, then i'm all about that. (at least the comfort part) and yes...i did buy a pair (black with brown--got the old and new black covered) can't say if i'm feeling truly modern, but i have to say, they are quite comfy.

it's a 'good thing'

i once had a friend tell me that i was too much like martha stewart. she clarified that everything always looks good on the outside. i'm always pulled together. (i disagreed whole-heartedly with her...i often feel like i'm one giant loose end) that conversation stuck with me...obviously.

been thinking a lot lately about how i've come to God like martha...trying to have everything pulled together. like i've said in a previous post, it's been a tough year. how many times have i come to God saying all the right things, but feeling broken in pieces inside?

much of my world is in the christian community, where honestly, it seems as though we are supposed to have it all pulled together all the time. if you don't, you're not the christian you are supposed to be--Jesus is supposed to have fixed everything in our lives. if you're a mess, you must not be following God or studying the Bible enough or praying enough. over the past year, i've gotten over a lot of that...thinking that i'm supposed to have it pulled together because Jesus is in my life, of living a christian 'image'--free of flaws and doubts.

on the contrary, i'm learning more and more that the brokenness is where growth and wholeness with God are. the more i've cried out to Him in my brokenness and hurt, the more i feel like He's doing a work in me. i'm broken, but He is the one who is pulling things together...making things better. i can cry to Him, i can yell my honest feelings to Him, i can surrender my life to Him.

i'm learning that if i try to pull things together on my own, i will fall a million miles short. when i let God take my broken pieces, He can do miracles and do amazing and good things.

are kids kids anymore?

i love my boys. they are where most of my time and energy are focused. my husband and i do our best to help them find their strengths, work through their weaknesses and provide them opportunities for them to learn and grow and discover who God made them to be.

this evening, i was at our school's 'curriculum night'--a great opportunity to hear first-hand what the expectations are for our kids as students and how as parents we need to do our part to aid in their education.

i want to clarify first that i love school--it is where a foundation is laid for a child to turn into a life-long learner. (a trait i admire greatly and encourage) i believe whole-heartedly that it is not the school's (or church's or government's) responsibility to train and raise my child. they assist parents in the training...but ultimately, moms and dads are responsible to grow their kids up to be grounded, confident, independent, responsible adults.

all that to say, i walked away from the evening overwhelmed by all the standards and requirements that my child has to successfully complete for his grade level. beyond 'normal' homework, we have reading logs and math logs, weekly readers and spelling pre- and post- tests. as parents, we should be doing math facts as we drive them to school, spelling words on the way home, independent reading for a slot of time and then math sheets to help them improve for another time slot of the evening. we should encourage reading before bed and maybe visiting one of the recommended educational game websites regularly each week (maybe a couple times each week). make sure they get enough sleep and a good breakfast because this grade level has an exceptionally late lunch time and we need to do our part to send our kids to school ready to focus and learn.

(we haven't even added chess club and piano lessons and church activities and basketball practices...)

all of it left me wondering, are kids kids anymore? do they know how to play? i mean really play--not us telling them that they need to practice left-handed layups at the hoop, but having nothing more than an open backyard and some sticks and let their imagination go. I remember playing with the neighbor kids in our grassy backyard, sometimes imitating a favorite tv show, but mostly making up our own characters in an imaginary world where a patch of tall grassy weeds was an intimidating forest and the neighbor cat was a vicious lion. i remember having our own 'shows' on someone's back patio and creating our own tickets and mixing up kool-aid to serve as refreshments to our patrons.

it makes me sad that my boys don't play that way. you can't pretend cook with leftover tupperware dishes in the sandbox. you have to head to target to get a special plastic stove and miniture dishes and have an electric outlet nearby (or a small aresenal of batteries) to turn on all the lights and simulated heating element.

i want my boys to learn all that they are to in school and more, but i want them to be able to have time in the afternoon to chase a butterfly or study the anthill or watch the clouds go by. i want them to pretend and imagine and dream.

guess it will come once we get through reading and spelling and math and...

britney should not be a national headline

okay...woke up yesterday morning. was having my bowl of cereal (kellogg's smart start--us blondes gotta do what we need to) and decided to turn on cbs's morning show, hoping to catch the basics on what's been going on in the world. the second story they focused on (and spent about five minutes focused on) was on britney spears' performance on mtv's video music awards.

this was the only thing happening this weekend? in all the world, with all that happens, we have to focus five minutes on the fact that she was wearing sparkly underwear--radiant after having two children, criticizing that her lip-sync was less than stellar?! 'her head wasn't obviously fully in the game' they observed. wait...lip-sync...at a music awards show...where you are singing in front of your collegues, to your fans that pay millions of dollars because they want to hear you sing?! the commentators bantered back and forth about if they thought she was 'back' or not and then were on to the latest headlines in iraq.

maybe i should change jobs and lip sync for a living. could pay a few bills...who knows, it could even make national headlines now. but believe me, you wouldn't want to see me in britney's outfit :)

beautiful

yesterday, i was at my parents' home for a quick visit. colin, my two-year old, was looking at all the pictures placed around the house. he came across a picture of me on my wedding day and his response brings me to tears. 'that's mom...she's beautiful' no prompting or coaching or fishing. just sweet and loving. oh...that i would speak my heart like that each day.

appreciating the complexly simple

life has been stressful the past year or so. in the middle of all the craziness, God has been impressing some things in my life. it has not been about all the difficulties or challenges or trials. God has been reminding me how beautiful He made the world, how He made it for us to enjoy, how He speaks everyday with shouts--we just miss them so often because we aren't looking for them.

this past summer, my family took a trip to the yellowstone area. mountains always scream of God's power and wonder to me, yet so many of the moments I saw of God's power this trip were in small things. flowers blooming through a snowbank in july. rocks placed in just the right place so we can step out into a cool mountain lake. the smooth blue surface of a vast lake. intricate details in a huge picture.

we saw amazing sights, yet the most beautiful moments were the simple ones. those beautiful moments on a vacation reminded me how those beautiful moments are all around...i so often overlook them because i'm pulled back, looking at and worrrying about a bigger picture.

i'm learning how God has beauty surrounding each one of us and He wants us to enjoy and savor it all. it may not be mountain vistas or sparkling waterfalls. it may be wide open spaces, watching bees and butterflies around a flower blossom, following shadows as the sun sets.

i'm learning to keep my eyes open, looking for God at work in the simple.