i am in that place. i have been wallowing in it for a little over a year now. i do not understand why some things have happened in my life (but know that He plans to make good out of all things). i look back over years and see all these things that do not necessarily 'go together' and wonder what recipe is He mixing together for my life.
there is music and retail and God and church and biblical studies and psychological studies and broken relationships and new relationships and restored relationships and hardships and blessings and family and love for children that i have never met and creative outlets and a struggle with identity and travels and experiences and feelings and opportunities and fears and passions and curiosity...and more...
how do the pieces fit together? (or do they?) where does all this lead next? how does this complex tapestry of who i was and who i am and who i am yet to be look like? feel like? going to accomplish?
i could worry, fret, fear, speculate, freak out.
i am not going to do that.
i am going to take each day, give it to God, and see what He is going to create.
He made me.
He knows me.
He has a plan for me.
He truly desires what is best for me.
He has not forgotten or forsaken me.
He blesses abundantly.
He loves extravagantly.
He extends grace and mercy.
He is patient beyond understanding.
i am anxiously awaiting to see how the recipe turns out, how the jigsaw pieces fit together, to see what the tapestry looks like in its completed state.
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