we visited my grandparents this afternoon. my grandpa has slowly been slipping away to alzheimer's. today was a good day, but to know what he was verses what he is makes you realize that things aren't the same. he's much more light-hearted now, but it's as he jokes about the fact that he remembers little. it truely is a blessing to know that he remembers my boys each visit--their names, some of their likes...but he has to ask them where they live over and over and over. he met our dog today for the first time and he really seemed to like that (although he called him a different name each time chewy came to him. chewy was glad grandpa had a bag of treats and kept dropping some :) )
my grandma is changing too. her age is beginning to really show now--i swear her hair was never that grey before and her wrinkles have multiplied in the past year. i can tell she is tired and feels like all she does and is is a caretaker. she also takes care of my cousin who is autistic. lisa is my age, but acts younger than my three year old in many ways. i marvel at my grandma who manages both. i love the fact that today she found an easter egg hidden in her drawer that she was meaning to give the boys that was filled with spare change--she wanted to have an easter egg hunt right then and there.
today, we took my cousin lisa for a bit--to spend time with her and to allow my grandma some moments to relax. in knowing lisa my whole life, even her personality has seemed to fade some. things we could do before, we can't now because she isn't able to function well in certain situations. fixations are stronger and the ability to reach out and try something different is far more difficult than it used to be. things like general manners have regressed and it's so difficult when people treat her strangely. i did get her to join me on a new path and she was beaming victoriously when we made it to the top--i'm hoping that's a sign of hope...she still can try new things and grow. (even if we just go left instead of going to the normal direction of right.)
we ended our visit by treating everyone to ice cream and hanging out on the patio. it was little, but felt like maybe we encouraged a little bit of life--remember what it is to enjoy outside, watching the next generation run around, laughing about memories... it was good to be with them today. i am so thankful we had today, but deep down, i'm scared what tomorrow may bring.
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